The Secret to Feeling Less Alone Starts at the Grocery Store

We’re in the midst of a growing loneliness epidemic. Today, 1 in 5 adults in the US reports daily loneliness.

People feel more disconnected than ever. It has a massive impact on our mental health, increasing rates of depression, anxiety, and can even cause premature death.

Many of struggle with loneliness as a result of being consistently online. Either we work from home. Or we take online classes. What steps can we take to increase connection in our local community?

Embrace the Small Talk

The first thing I’d suggest is to acknowledge you are consistently around real-life thinking, feeling, human beings that you can connect with every day.

When you go to the store. Go get gas. Go to a doctor’s appointment.

In the past I tended to operate from a shy, introverted space. Never sharing “small talk” because I didn’t see any point in it.

What I didn’t realize is that “small talk” is an invitation for someone to enter into your world. And most people are waiting for anyone to interface with them.

So while you are the grocery store, ask your cashier about their day (and don’t use the self-checkout line). When you go to your regular fitness class, complement someone on their shoes.

You may find yourself making connections and finding people in places that you never expected.

Repeat Connections

When we were growing up in school, many of us found natural friends because we were commonly around each other day in and day out.

Nowadays - adults find friends at work. But for many of us who are remote workers: it can be difficult to make real life connections.

That means we need to change our environment in which we continue to run into the same people on a regular basis.

Great places to do this:

• Fitness classes that happen regularly every same date/time.
• Community events like open-mic night or poetry readings.
• Joining a sports team where everyone must work together consistently.
• A meetup group that all share a hobby like playing tabletop games, hiking, or biking on regular nights of the week.

Don’t expect to find your best friend or life partner the first time you go to these, give it time.

Challenge yourself to “small talk” with others in these groups. You’ll become a part of a community in no time.

Shift Your Expectations

Some of my favorite connections with people in this past year have been with people who are twice, sometimes three times my age.

Many of us have expectations of the types of people we can be friends with. For me- that was age. The truth is that age isn’t a great qualifier for who I should and shouldn’t be friends with now in my 30s.

Don’t get me wrong, I find some benefits to connecting with people in my same generation. But it can be just as rewarding to connect with others that came into the world at a different time or in a different place.

But leave yourself open to connect with anyone and you’re able to see some universal commonalities.

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All of us want to feel connected.

If you operate with understanding that everyone is trying to find their people, you’ll start to recognize opportunities that weren’t obvious to you before.

Next time you are out in public, ask someone about their day—and really mean it. Initiating conversation is uncomfortable at first but it’s a muscle you can strengthen.

Over time, with practice and consistency, you will build the community you are looking for.